Steven Symes

I’ve noticed for a while now there’s a trend of people saying they’re “being genuine” like that excuses any kind of behavior they’ve engaged in. Not always, but often that declaration is paired with extremely rude, abrasive actions, like somehow their statement excuses them of following any form of propriety. I find it similar to when I was a kid and people would say “excuse my French” after cussing, like it absolved them of any sin. The thing is that’s nonsense. Truly being genuine doesn’t mean acting like a selfish jerk and it certainly isn’t something trendy.

I suspect but don’t know for sure this trend started with therapists who were well-intentioned in telling their patients to “be more genuine.” Like so many other things from the mental health field which has been weaponized in recent times, it was then twisted to mean something very different, in some cases exactly the opposite of the original intent.

There are some who will use any excuse to run around saying rude, awful things to others. It’s like when someone says “not to be rude, but…” and you already know what’s going to follow will be completely rude. Using the “being genuine” statement as a shield is just manipulative convenience, not a heartfelt conviction.

Being genuine doesn’t involve some loud declarations in a quest for attention and public praise. In fact, glory-seeking runs counter to being genuine. The process is often private and introspective as a person discovers who they are and what they’re all about, instead of what the world tells them they are. It can be empowering, but not in a way of reinforcing your negative inclinations and habits.

On that note, it’s funny how so many in their pursuit of “being genuine” end up conforming to whatever the popular dialog dictates these days. Genuine people often don’t conform to group expectations because they have a strong moral conviction, and not in a rude way.

I know some people will twist what I’ve written to mean whatever they want. However, for those genuinely seeking knowledge I’ll tell you this: your journey toward being more genuine starts by acknowledging you know nothing of your genuine self. In fact, the journey toward all truth begins with the humility of recognizing you don’t know anything. Too often, people start off with the assumption they have it all figured out, then they interpret everything based on their false assumption. But you must have the desire to actually know your genuine self, instead of just seeking to reinforce your preconceived notions. That requires humility.

Through much meditation, prayer, and study you can begin to know yourself. I suggest keeping a journal or some other way of recording your thoughts often as that will help in your journey. Work to get your house in order as much as you can, and I’m talking about your personal life. Also, be sure to reach out to others, help those in need, be a shoulder for others to cry on, and you will learn more about who you truly are.

Learning to be truly genuine, not trendy “genuine”, can be a lifelong pursuit. However, it’s worth the concerted and often difficult effort required.

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